Bound by Blood
by Steph's Puppet
Summary: AU of Episode 8. Celine walks into a completely different scene when she enters Jude's study. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to 'You, Me and the Apocalypse', this is a non-profit piece of work done solely for the purpose of entertainment.**

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Bound by Blood

When Mother Superior had given Celine the message from Jude, she had been elated and immediately rushed to repack her belongings, certain that she and Jude would soon be heading for Florence. Halfway through her packing she suddenly stopped as realised with no small amount of horror that she was holding an unused pack of feminine products. She had not noticed that she was late, but then again it had never been a major concern. Now the implications were frighteningly real. Of course it was entirely likely that the conclusion she immediately jumped to was incorrect, she was not exhibiting any other symptoms but that might be because it was still too early. She resolved to ignore the issue for now, she could always find a pharmacy when they arrived in Florence.

As she travelled, she found that the idea was not as easy to dismiss as she had first thought. It had taken root in her mind and the near distraction-free journey left her plenty of time to imagine a future involving her, Jude and a little boy/girl. She did feel some concern as to how Jude might react to the news, this would not be the first time the bombshell had been dropped on him, and the first time he had not reacted well. She was probably being a little unfair, he was a completely different man from the boy that had left Mary.

Once she arrived at the building she had lived in the last few weeks, she immediately headed towards Jude's study. It was late, and she did not encounter anyone as she walked through the dark corridors, no doubt because everyone had already gone to bed. The thought made her hesitate as she wondered whether she should have gone straight to Jude's room instead. Deciding that she may as well eliminate the possibility that he was in his study, she continued onwards. Upon opening the door, the sight she saw made her stagger back and muffle a scream. There was a crumpled figure on the ground, head surrounded by a shallow halo of blood. Recovering from her initial shock, Celine rushed to the man's side, terrified of what she might find. Her earlier idyllic imaginings took on a much more sinister note as she carefully rolled him over. She breathed out a shaky sigh of relief when she saw that it was not Jude, but Christof. His eyes were glassy, and he wasn't breathing. Although it was pretty evident that he was dead, Celine checked his pulse anyway to be sure.

Now that her heart rate had returned to a somewhat normal level, Celine stepped back and examined the scene she had walked in on for any clue as to what might have happened. There was a smear of blood on the stone fireplace near where Christof was lying, and a closer inspection of his head revealed a deep cut at the back. If she had to guess, she would assume that he had fallen and hit his head fatally. While that explained how he had died, it did not answer any of the other questions she had. Why was he in Jude's study at such a late time? What could have caused him to fall in such a way? Of more concern to her was the current whereabouts of Jude. After seeing Christof in such a state, she needed reassurance that he was alive and well. Moving away from the body, she searched the desk drawers for Jude's keys. He very rarely locked any of the rooms he used, but she did not want anyone stumbling across Christof until she had found him.

Locking the door behind her, and checking that she had managed to avoid getting any blood on herself, Celine started her search for Jude. She had not expected it to take very long, simply assuming that if he wasn't in his study then he would be in his room, but he wasn't there either. She searched several more of his regular haunts, growing more and more anxious at each location he was not present at. She wracked her brain for where else he might be, trying to remember any location he might have mentioned even in passing. Eventually she remembered a time when Jude had mentioned his favourite place to pray, a quiet and secluded place that very few people knew about. She tried to remember where he had said it was, and after getting lost a few times, she eventually turned a corner and found him kneeling in front of a cross. She felt her shoulders drop down as she realised that he was completely unharmed. Her relief was short-lived as her arrival went completely unnoticed, and she saw how tightly he was clutching a rosary.

"Jude?" She spoke quietly, trying to get his attention without surprising him too much. He did not give any indication that he had heard her speak at all. Moving a little closer, she saw that he was totally wrapped up in his own world. He was speaking so quietly and quickly that she struggled to understand what he was saying. She only caught one word: "forgiveness". That one word, in combination with the body she had found in the study, made her come to a horrifying conclusion. She knew that she couldn't rely on her assumptions, she needed to hear what had happened from Jude himself. And that meant breaking him out of the stupor she had found him in. As she moved to sit beside him, she called out his name a little more insistently, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He flinched away from her hand, but the gesture at least had the effect of causing him to break off mid-ramble. After initially glancing in her direction, he had immediately looked away, clearly not wanting to hold eye-contact with her. He looked completely lost, a far cry from his usually composed and rational self.

"I need you to tell me what happened." She said once she realised that he was not going to begin speaking without some kind of prompt. He immediately launched into a completely incoherent mess of words that was impossible to understand, Celine tried very hard to interrupt him to get him to slow down, but it appeared that he was beyond reasoning. Already preparing an apology, she slapped him to bring him to his senses and gently took his face into her hands.

"I'm sorry I had to do that, but you need to calm down and tell me what happened." A red mark was already appearing on his cheek, causing Celine to feel a brief twinge of regret, but her actions had the desired effect and a much calmer Jude finally looked at her.

"I killed Christof." She did not doubt the truth of his words, but that simple admission was not enough of an explanation.

"What happened?" She repeated, not believing that Jude would have killed someone in cold blood. There must be some reason for why he would do something so drastic. It took him a while before he was able to speak again.

"He came into the study, he was talking about the meeting that we had today, and he suddenly threw this cloth in my face." He paused, looking back at her to see her reaction. She nodded encouragingly, already seeing where the story might be heading. "Whatever was on it was making me feel faint, so I pushed him to try to get him away from me. I don't think he was expecting it, and he fell. By the time I could think straight and could check to see if he was okay, I was too late."

"It was self-defence then. It wasn't your fault." Her words did little to comfort him.

"I should have been more careful."

"Don't be ridiculous." She admonished. "Do you know what he was planning?"

"He had a noose…" Whatever Jude thought that Christof had planned went unsaid. "I upset some the cardinals at the meeting today, I think they wanted to keep me quiet. I never thought they would-" he broke off again, unable to continue.

Aware that Jude was probably very close to a breakdown, Celine was careful to keep her movements slow as she wrapped her arms around him. He held her tightly in response, as though worried she was going to disappear. They stayed like that for a long time, she murmured words of love and reassurance, knowing that was what he needed to hear in that moment. It felt a little odd that she was the one providing comfort, Jude had always seemed like a pillar of strength. He had probably been called every insult under the sun and had not let any of it affect him, but now he clung to her like a lost child. The longer they stayed together, the more she could feel the tension leaving his body. Once she was satisfied that he was calm enough to continue, she spoke again more clearly.

"Not only was it self-defence, it was also an accident. This is absolutely not your fault."

"I shouldn't have killed him." She pulled back a little to look him directly in the eye.

"What do you think God would have wanted? Would He have wanted you to die because of what you said at a meeting?" Jude didn't respond but she knew that her reasoning made sense. "We will fix this." She told him firmly. "We will tell them what happened, at the meeting and in the study." He shook his head, seeming now to have calmed down enough to begin to rationally judge the situation.

"They won't believe me. I told you before, my job has not made me many friends. The cardinals at the meeting will no doubt make up some bullshit story that will make Christof seem innocent. It will be my word against theirs, and it is a lot easier to believe me a murderer." Celine knew that he was right, and the situation made her want to scream in frustration. The one thing she knew at this point was that there was no way in hell she was going to let some corrupt cardinals send Jude to prison. Especially not now that she had even considered the possibility of them having a family together.

"They might not believe you, but they would believe me." She said after some thought. Jude caught her meaning nearly immediately and was prompt in voicing his objections.

"Fuck no. You are not taking responsibility for this."

"You said it yourself, you haven't made friends in the Vatican. But people like me, they would believe me. They would never think that I had intentionally attacked Christof, and there is nothing those cardinals could say that would convince them otherwise."

"This is my mess and I need to deal with it, I cannot risk you-"

"Goddamnit Jude, now is not the time for your self-sacrificial bullshit." Celine interrupted furiously. "This is not just about you and me anymore. Either you let me do this, or I swear that I will walk out of that door and you will never see me again."

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The gathering to determine what had happened to Christoph had been underway for some time. A group of highly trusted cardinals had been selected to interrogate Celine after she had confessed to killing Christof in self-defence. It had been rather telling that while these proceedings were underway, Celine had not seen a single member of the police. She had suspected as much, the police would not be called until it was determined that she had committed a crime. If they believed her story, then the matter would be hushed up, Christof's death made to look like a tragic accident. They would not want the scandal of a well-known priest attacking an innocent nun tarnishing the precious reputation of the church. Especially not with the way she was going to frame the story. They had been drilling her on her story for several hours, but it did not particularly concern her as there was odd reassurance in the fact that they had questioned Jude earlier but his interrogation had only taken half an hour. This suggested that they believed her original confession where she had told them that Jude had not been present during the attack. As part of their cover story, she had instructed Jude that they would reveal that they had been planning on leaving the church. The more truth they could use in the story, the more believable it would be. Eventually, it seemed as though they were starting to reach the end of the questioning, she had already covered in depth the attack itself, describing how she had pushed him away in fear only for him to fall back and hit his head, the motivation was the only matter that still needed to be covered.

"Do you have any idea why Father Christof attacked you?" A cardinal asked.

"He was furious, I believe he had found out that Father Jude and I were planning on renouncing our vows and leaving." The tears streaming down her face had been surprisingly easy to fake, she had steadily become more and more emotional throughout the meeting with the aim of provoking the sympathy from the men in the room, for the most part she had been successful. "He was raving like a madman, he said some awful awful things to me."

"What kind of things?" Celine hesitated before responding.

"Sexual things. He made me deeply uncomfortable, and when I told him so he became very aggressive. I was worried about what he was going to do to me. I only wanted to get him away from me, I didn't mean for him to die." The lies left a bad taste in Celine's mouth, but she had struggled to find another reason for why Christof might be motivated to attack her. The one she had settled on eventually had been picked because she knew the church would be more likely to cover up the scandal if there was a sexual element.

"This does not sound like characteristic behaviour for Father Christof, he has always been dedicated to his vows. I find it surprising he would suddenly choose to abandon them." She recognised the voice that raised the objection, the cardinal had been trying to poke holes in her story since she had begun. She suspected that he was one of Christof's accomplices, but luckily his obvious anger and dislike from the onset had firmly set the room against him. He must be upset that his plan to silence Jude had failed.

"Please remember Cardinal, Father Jude and I were also dedicated to our vows. I suspect none of us knows what a person really is like until we push them too far." She explained mournfully. "I trusted Christof, I thought we were friends. I had no idea he would react so badly to the news about me and Jude." There was a quiet murmur of understanding around the room.

"Where was Father Jude when this was taking place?"

"He was praying for forgiveness. We have sinned against God with our actions, and we can only hope that He will forgive our weakness." She would have to ask Him to forgive her for her lies as well, she had told many that day. Jude would have to as well, she knew he had told them the same about his location at her urging.

"I think that will be enough." The chair of the meeting declared. "I believe it is clear what has happened, Father Christof died as a result of his own actions. My dear, you have clearly experienced a terrible trauma, but know that God will not judge you for the actions you were forced to take." Celine nodded and wiped away a few errant crocodile tears. "You and Father Jude will still need to seek forgiveness for your sin, but we wish you all the best for your future." The rest of the men at the meeting straightened up slightly, no doubt getting ready for the discussion that would inevitable take place as soon as she left. They had a cover up to organise, after all.

"Thank you, Cardinal." She said to the chair, and nodded respectfully at the rest, keeping her expression neutral when she came to the one she suspected. He was fuming. Knowing that she had more or less painted a target on her own back, Celine was glad that she had told Jude to sort out their travel arrangements to leave as soon as possible. Leaving the room, she walked straight into Jude's arms and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Everything sorted?" She nodded against his shoulder.

"Let's go. I don't want to stay here longer than absolutely necessary."

She let him pull her away from the place that had caused them so much grief. Something deep and hidden had changed between them and they both knew it. The change had not been necessarily for better or for worse, but what she had done for him was not something that would ever be forgotten. The devotion and loyalty she had shown, and at such risk to herself and the purity of her soul, bound them more tightly than words of marriage ever would.

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 **AN:** **Taken some liberties with the story and characterisation here. i.e. Celine finding out about the pregnancy sooner changes her character somewhat.** **I'm also making some assumptions about how Jude died in episode 8, I think it's pretty damn clear that he was murdered, probably by Christof but I've guessed that he was knocked out beforehand. Any representation of religion is meant to be from the point of view of the charactersand not my own point of view.**


End file.
